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Plenty of bloggers have been writing handy little guides to BlogHer. But none of those bloggers are me. None of them have my perspective. Nor my back hair.

The official inevitable inimitable irresistible Avitable guide to BlogHer:

1. BlogHer does not happen in a vacuum. This isn't Hedonism. This isn't a nude beach. This isn't even your fenced-in backyard. There will be at least four million cameras at BlogHer. There will be tongues wagging and tweeting and typing and talking. Unless you're holed up in your hotel room with only you and your bestie who would never tell a soul, there is a very good chance that the world will be privy to your heavy drinking, woman kissing, pot smoking, hardcore dancing, panty flashing evening. It might not be tagged with your name and maybe nobody will say anything about it, but if you pass out on the dance floor at the Sparklecorn party with a drink in your hand, don't be surprised if you show up in the background of a thousand and one photos. And, unfortunately, expecting anyone to refrain from publishing a photo out of courtesy is asking for trouble. If you're worried about something embarrassing being published, don't drink so much that you do something embarrassing. And please, someone remind me I said this in two weeks when I'm mortified by the photos that are published.

2. Nobody cares how you look. Many bloggers (myself included) can be a little camera shy. If you're not comfortable with your weight or size, it can be hard to see yourself in hundreds of photos throughout the weekend. One alternative is to hide in a corner all night long and avoid the cameras, your friends, and all of the fun. Or, you could realize that this is about the celebration of bloggers, people, and especially women, and you're just as beautiful as that one thin blonde who looks gorgeous in every photo. Go out, have fun, and appreciate the photographs for what they are – memories with your friends.

3. Don't be a pussy. If you see someone you read and like, go say hi*. Chances are that person also has someone that he or she reads and likes and might be shy about talking to them! Blogging is about community, and community is about reciprocity. One of the biggest pleasures I had last year was when a blogger would come up to me and introduce herself. Chances were that I already knew her name, but it was nice to put a face to that Twitter account or blogger identity, exchange business cards (look for mine this year with MORE NUDITY), and forge a personal connection that's stronger when it's not separated by a shitload of ones and zeroes. Also, if you're shy, some people might misread this as aloofness and then they won't approach you either. It's a vicious circle. (*Does not apply to Dooce. She will punch you in your crotch.)

4. Your negative attitude should be left at home. Whether you're the type to whine and bitch about the men present at the conference or the drinking that goes on or the breastfeeding or the swag or the lack of swag or the exclusivity or the private parties or Nikon eating babies, shut. The. Fuck. Up. There is literally something at BlogHer for every type of personal blogger out there. Whether you're married or single or gay or straight or a teetotaler or an alcoholic or childless or barren or fertile or Christian or Jewish or Muslim or black or white or yellow or purple, if you have the right attitude, you will walk away with something positive. And wouldn't you rather come away with something positive rather than focusing on the few aspects that annoy or piss you off? I know I would.

5. Don't take things personally. It's hard. You have a lot tied up in yourself – you're psyching yourself to surf the wave of estrogen and squealing and wade in with your business cards flying. You walk up to someone, introduce yourself, talk to her for a minute or two, and mid-conversation she sees someone else that she knows, and the conversation ends. This will happen a million and one times that night, and to everyone! Even me. And I'm fucking compelling to talk to. Someone (actually many someones) will forget your name. You might be ignored or jostled aside. Bloggers you know might sneak through a line while you're still waiting. There will be parties that you don't get invited to where the attendees get pedicures and massages by the Jonas Brothers and Robert Pattinson. There will be secret rooms where they give away Camaros and Botox. It happens. Get over it, and just relax. Have fun.

6. Pronounce my name correctly.

Hopefully this guide helps you enjoy your time at BlogHer 2010. If not, I wash my hands of you. I've done all I can and you're obviously a lost cause. Go to BlissDom instead, where everything is rainbows and sunshines and unicorns. And Jesus.

P.S. Do you have an iPhone? Download the Bump app for an easy and fun way to transfer your information to other bloggers with iPhones!

P.P.S. Don't forget these either!

I feel weak and small.

My emotions are big and strong, like the blazing sun on my shoulders.

One false move and I’ll burn to dust.

I’m not afraid of meeting new people.

Or important people.

I’m afraid of meeting old friends.

I know your secrets.

Even scarier, you know mine.

It will be hard to look into your eyes.

I might avoid them.

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After my post three months ago about how TPTB at BlogHer are dropping the ball significantly, I've had several people ask if I was even still going. The answer is a resounding "Of course!"

While I think that the leadership of BlogHer is doing a piss-poor job this year of maintaining any level of transparency, falsely encouraging community involvement while foisting their own agenda regardless of popular opinion, I don't go to the conference so I can be underwhelmed by their inability to effectively organize their way out of a wet paper bag. I go to meet my friends, make new ones, and enjoy the ability to put faces and real names with virtual identities.

Last year's conference was a blast and completely, utterly overwhelming. I cannot believe how many people there were, and how many bloggers I met. There are plenty of bloggers who I think I met, but can't even remember – that's how crazy it was.

This year, since I am a little OCD, anal retentive, and controlling, I thought I'd try to have a better plan to see old friends and meet new ones. So, here is a little survey for you. You can fill it out in the comments or email it to me at my first name at my last name dot com.

1. What's your name? You can give your blog name, real name, or name you want me to call you in my sleep.

2. Have we met? Don't be insulted if I don't remember – I was totally overwhelmed and unless you grabbed my nuts or something, I may have forgotten.

3. Are you going to this year's BlogHer? If not, do you live in the NYC area and do you want to meet up outside of the conference while I'm there?

4. Do you want to meet me? How much or how little, on a scale of chocolate to 42?

5. Are you a single woman? Do you like fat hairy funny guys? If yes to both, plz send photos kthxbai.

6. Have you been invited to any exclusive parties? Do you want a date? Who totally puts out?

7. Who's the blogger you're the most excited to see? If you say someone other than me, it's okay. I understand that you have shitty taste.

8. Would you have attended a session if I had gotten one like the community demanded? What if I hosted one in my room? Naked?

9. What's the most private thing you're willing to share here? I promise I won't tell anyone.

Thanks!

Here we go, kids. If you’re interested in drama, welcome aboard the train to God knows where this will end up, but probably not well.

First, let me say that what I am doing is on my own behalf. I am not speaking for anyone other than myself and the only blog represented by this post is my own.

Shortly after I started writing for MamaPop, I was referred to a post by Anna Viele, listing her observations on the life of male bloggers.  The post seemed a little bitter to me, but whatever. Her opinion is hers. In it she would basically say that one of the stages of  a male blogger’s life (before we vanish into obscurity or are lucky enough to get a book deal) is becoming an unpaid writer for MamaPop.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed,  but I’m a male blogger and, at the time, one of seven male writers on staff at MamaPop, so it was difficult not to take it personally. I’m new to this world and I doubt she was talking about me specifically, but she was certainly stereotyping and attacking a small group of which I’m a part.

Additionally, blogging is in its infancy. This woman laying out the path of a male blogger’s existence (based on their having penises) and predicting their futures based on her observations over a few years is ridiculous. It’s like planning out the path of publishing ten years after the printing press was invented.

Then, in what can only be described as the greatest thing ever, bhj changed his avatar on twitter to Jesus flipping a bird and gave a special shout out to Anna correcting her false assumptions she off-handedly *reports* as facts.  I say *reports* because this woman fancies herself a journalist, when it’s clear her personal feelings, axes to grind and bitterness fuel her writing.

The bhj flip-off would be called “unprofessional”, which I thought was pretty funny considering that Anna’s own twitter profile page featured a photo of her flipping off the camera.  (She probably learned that from Katie Couric.)  A couple of other writers would join in and say some nasty stuff to her on twitter (not me, but I really wanted to) and she would go on to do a follow-up story on the whole thing.

First, I’m new to blogging and honestly, I haven’t seen a ton of what I would call “professionalism”.  In fact, the fun of it is how “unprofessional” it is.  At MamaPop, we opened a community called SparkleMotion. We were going to call it “Place where professionals come to talk about their blogging finances,” but we shortened it.

Before you join, this is the message you see:

Monkeys and Robots cannot prepare you for the awesome that is contained within this community. Plus it’s now powered by 100% pure high-grade Sparkle Motion. Yeah, you read that right. So climb aboard and join the fun! Just don’t be a dick.

Pretty much your standard terms and conditions. We want to be sure when we’re talking about our banking shit that everyone understands how serious we are. And if you want to come over there, we might ask you how much money you make. You better just tell us or we’ll say nasty things about you.

A couple of commenters on her follow-up post would say something along the lines of,  ”They wouldn’t respond to the Wall Street Journal that way.”  Actually, I would. Suck my balls, WSJ. It’s none of your business. Vagina.

But aside from that:

A) Do the Wall Street Journal writers use a public profile photo of flipping off the camera? Comparing this woman to the Wall Street Journal is like comparing my theories on proper butter to crab ratios to the theory of relativity.

B) When you attack 20 snarky writers on team unicorn, what the fuck do you expect? I didn’t join Microsoft. I joined a team of comedic writers. If you want professionalism, I’ll refer you anywhere other than where I am.

C) Did I miss the part where someone appointed her “the news”? And when did MamaPop become a publicly traded company in which it’s obligated or required to publicize its revenue? Her personal curiosity or even yours doesn’t make it anyone’s business.  She even went as far as to run the numbers and estimate what the site made.  Who’s fucking business is this? It’s like me asking you how much you make, and when you don’t tell me,  I do what I can to analyze your company, position and what you do for them, come up with a reasonable average of what a person in your position makes and then write a post about how much money I think you make. What the fuck? Who is this person?

In her follow-up, she would send an e-mail to all of the writers asking us to comment on whether or not we are paid. In words, I told her it was none of her business.  One of the writers called her a link-baiting taintface, also called “unprofessional” by a couple of people.  To those I bare my ass and slap it, while cupping my balls and saying, “I’ve got your professionalism right here.”

I’m not writing for MamaPop for the money or even writing for the money. That would be really dumb. I do it because I love it.  To some, it’s a business and maybe one day it will be for me. But the one thing it will never be is “professional”, and if the day ever comes (again) when someone writes an out-of- left-field post saying I make nothing, I correct her by saying “you’re a douche,” then this person sends me an e-mail telling me she’s doing a story on how much I make and has applied her own formula and run the numbers to estimate what she thinks I make and plans to tell the world, link-baiting taintface will be one of the many names I assign her. In the immortal words of bhj,

Now here’s where this gets interesting.  The above was just a little background before the fun gets started.

I don’t know all of what’s going on here and know nothing about the Blogher Ad Network.  As you can see, I have no ads, so I’m not going to pretend I know anything about this stuff. But apparently Anna began writing a series of posts regarding the Blogher Ad Network and the addition of The Pioneer Woman. She would then go on to explain (using charts and graphs) that  the ad network had some kind of tier system which I also won’t pretend to understand or try to.

The Blogher Ad Network would then terminate Viele’s contract, their reasons being that she was reporting falsehoods they could easily disprove, in addition to her falsely reporting traffic stats.

She would then claim that Blogher issued her a cease and desist regarding her series of posts, but… there was no cease and desist regarding her posts.  A representative for Blogher stated that they received a letter from Anna Veile’s attorney saying that if they settled with her for $150,000, the posts would end.

Really, Anna? Now that’s journalistic integrity. ”Pay me and I’ll stop writing bad stuff about you.” (She must have learned that from Mike Wallace.) Thanks for getting us the news we need to hear, Anna. I hope people continue to not pay you so we can get your unbiased opinion on their evil.

Anna would then clear things up for us, saying that the letter she received from Blogher wasn’t *officially* about her posts, but was a letter telling her not to contact them ever again. So, all of you who follow Anna can assume one of two things:

A) She misrepresented the document in a big way

B) She doesn’t know the difference between a cease and desist regarding published content and a letter telling her to contact their attorney if she has anything else she would like to say.

So, clueless or liar? You pick. It is that cut and dry. Either would mean you shouldn’t listen to a word she says.

In her last post of the series where she would clarify her *mistake* and  in the comments section Redneck Mommy would accuse Anna of threatening her, Anna replying that RedneckMommy’s statement was a perfect example of libel and defamatory, which for a woman who can’t translate a legal document is an astute legal observation. It sounds to me the letter she received more resembled a restraining order than a cease and desist to stop her posts.

So what do we have?  A journalist flying under the banner of professionalism with a twitter profile of her flipping off the camera, calling the same activity “unprofessional”. Hypocrite. Check.

Someone we know, for a fact, reports  misinformation. Whether or not it’s to manipulate you or cluelessness is anyone’s guess. Check.

If what Blogher says is true (and I’m sure they can prove it) a person who would offer to stop reporting the news we so desperately need to hear in exchange for a large sum of money. Check.

Anna would now just like to move on. Ahhh… good for her. Too bad. She’s a litigious bully and she would gladly keep her mouth shut if someone slaps a load of cash in her pocket. A journalist that does not make.

She wrote falsehoods about Blogher. They canned her. End of story.  Not “Stop writing posts about us,” more simply, “You’re fired, leave us alone.”  She would then try to convince you they tried to get her to stop writing the posts, which they did not do. They simply disassociated with her in a very rapid way, as would any advertiser. Then, according to them, she tried to get them to pay her to stop writing her posts. Viele sad it was a settlement offer for the termination of her contract.

Seems to me if she doesn’t sue them, we’ll know who is telling the truth.

In her final post on the subject, Viele would go on to say that Blogher spent thousands on a Silicon Valley law firm and they were “trolling” her site all day, my guess in an attempt to further show Blogher’s great interest in her exposing them, but when a litigious nut demands $150,000 “settlement” from you,  you hire an attorney.

If the Blogher attorneys were trolling her site, it was to simply gather, in a timely manner (before she could delete them, maybe), the falsehoods she reported that led to her contract being terminated. I like to call that, “duh.”

How stupid does she think we are? She’s a self-proclaimed business expert, for God’s sake. She would like you to believe that what is absolutely standard practice when someone legally threatens you is some kind of conspiracy to take her down, when they just want her to go away. It borders on megalomania.

Again, I know nothing about the ad network. I know some people have problems with it. I can’t speak to those and this has nothing to do with that. This is about one woman who went on the attack, printed misinformation and got what she deserved.

Anna may choose to acknowledge this or not. She may try to sue me.  Bring it. I have a cool chair and a tv. That’s about it. I’ll pee on both before you get your hands on them.

I’ll reiterate I’m alone here and I apologize for any backlash this may bring my friends. For me, this is personal and I make no bones about it. I despise bullies. She uses her voice for leverage and spin, and in the short time she’s been on my radar,  I’ve seen her attack me and my friends and now more than one person is accusing her of using her pulpit to hurt them if they don’t comply.

Sometimes where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

You’ll also notice I didn’t link to her. There’s a reason for that. Where I did link was to the story on She Posts which has been updated, but I have no interest in sending her any direct traffic from here. The article says it all.

• Yesterday, another mystery ailment for the SecondHand Car. Came out to drive to dinner and the passenger-side window was rolled all the way down. I never touched the damn thing. Won’t roll back up.
• This brings me to the mechanic this morning, of course. Thankfully, no rain last night.
• LIST OF PROBS I GAVE THE MECHANIC. (1) The window, obviously. (2) The Swamp is beginning again. Find the fucking leak. (3) SERVICE ENGINE SOON light is off and on, off and on. Never stays off more than a day.
• There are 3 weeks until Shannon arrives. I need to get my shit together and get the bedrooms ready. Are you coming to SillyBring? April 24 is coming fast. So far, we have seven people, including me.
• There are a lot more Poison fans than I thought. Oddly, some of these people are friends of mine. Oddly, I still like them. The friends, not the fucking band.
• Then again, I like Rick Springfield, so who am I to judge?
• Tomorrow is not only Mom’s birthday, but my twin daughters’ birthday, too. April Fool’s! Mom is still 36 (she swears), yet I’m 43. There may have been a flux capacitor involved, I don’t know.
• Mom is doing well, by the way. This is her second week of physical therapy. Walking around, she even drove from the house to the restaurant last night. “Braking is a bitch.” Um, yeah, Mom. Let’s hold off on the driving, then, for a few more weeks. Braking? Sort of integral to the whole driving thing.
• I’ve had a couple of epiphanies of late. I don’t know what good they do me.
• Been digging “Lost” and its last season. IMAGINARY SPOILER ALERT, BUT ONLY IF I’M RIGHT. My guess for the ending is that Hurley and Sayid will replace Jacob and the Smoke Monster as guardians of the island.
• Almost caught up on “Life,” too. Great series from the same people at Discovery that came up with “Planet Earth” a few years back.
• I’m so woefully behind on virtually every series I watch that there may be no recovery.
• The Sickness. Still coughing and blowing my nose, but I’m relatively better. May start hitting the Y again tomorrow. Just in time for April’s Resolution (announced tomorrow).
• Shit, I really need to come up with April’s Resolution.
• I have the Matrix Therapist this afternoon. Doctor visit tomorrow morning. And a 2-hour drive to get my eyes examined next week. Hoping the car is fixed well before that drive. Having nothing but ordinary terrestrial radio available (should I need to take Mom’s car) is unacceptable.
• Taking mental inventory between now and therapy is gonna be tough. I don’t really KNOW how I’m feeling. Better? Worse? Same? Is the Abilify doing anything? It *might* be giving me more energy (thus, my greatly reduced nappage quotient), but it sure as hell ain’t improving my mood. I don’t think. Then again, the MT did say last time that I seemed “mellower.”
• On second glance, I think I may need to increase the dosage. Feeling like withdrawing from the Net (even like axing accounts) can’t be a good thing. Not for me, anyway. Just. Not. Feeling. It.
• I still get 20-30 “press releases” a day from people trying to get me to write about their celebrities. Hello? No longer doing the celeb thing. Please delete me from your lists. Thanks.
• I also get 10-20 emails a day telling me about Mommy issues. This is also residual ex-job stuff, but probably has some BlogHer mixed in there, as well. Your new nipple cream to help me with my sore nips after feeding my triplets? Thanks, don’t need it.
• After seeing Ben Folds with my friend, Tracy, she got tickets for us to see OK Go in May. She didn’t even ask me first. I’m not bitching. Another band I’ve never seen live. Here’s to hoping they have a giant Rube Goldberg machine set up on stage…or at least treadmills.

a

This week has been a total write-off as far as exercise is concerned. I’ve been sick for a week now, and even though I’m pretty sure it’s just a cold, it’s been kicking my ass. Major snot factory, coughing, wheezing, headaches, sore throat, etc. (And yes, I’m keenly aware that smoking isn’t helping…that Resolution will come later this year. Not ready for that one yet.)

Being sick isn’t something I do well. It’s a rarity to begin with, perhaps once a year (twice if it’s a bad year). In this case, it’s been over a year since I was last afflicted with anything. Physical, I mean. Mentally, I’m afflicted many times over, of course.

We’re nearly done with March already, but I’m calling the exercise Resolution successful. I’ll start on it again as soon as I’m up to snuff. Let’s take a look at the Resolutions so far, yeah?

January: Diabetes. This is still going strong, mostly. I’ve been a bit lax on checking sugar this past week. Getting on the horse again, though. My sugar this morning (before meds or breakfast) was 211. High, yes, but again…haven’t been great about everything this past week. Sugar the last week has averaged 146.

I’ll be filling my weekly pillboxes when I finish here. Doing really good taking my meds most of the time, too.

February: Work. Meh. Not so great here. Plan to get to work today, as well. Gotta write a story. And I haven’t even begun looking for another writing gig, though I’m totally open to more.

March: Exercise. Already mentioned. I plan on continuing with this. I’ve seen how it affects (positively) my blood sugar…knocks it down quite a bit. And that’s a good thing. That was part of the idea behind the Year of Resolutions: that they’d interplay in various ways, all to make me feel better physically and mentally.

Now it’s time to think about April. We’re only days away from it and I need to come up with another Resolution. I have it narrowed down to a few ideas, but am open to more suggestions. I’m leaning toward something spiritual at the moment. We’ll see.

I’ll be announcing the winner(s) of the Funniest Sex Story contest tomorrow. Got some really good entries.

Lordy, I need a new computer. Finally fixed my problematic mouse by getting a new wireless mouse. Works fine now…must have been the old mouse’s receiver that was the problem. But my 4-yr-old Dell laptop is just sluggish. Takes nearly 7 or 8 minutes to fully boot. Maxed on RAM, dependent on an external hard drive.

Oh, Apple, why can’t you send me a shiny new MacBook Pro on a scholarship or something?

In the good news department, I’m mending things with a friend, and that feels nice. The last few months have been a whirlwind of a roller coaster ride. The Matrix Therapist noted that I seem “different” at our last session. Not sure what that means, exactly, but she said I seem “mellower.”

The new meds seem to be doing something, I’m just not sure what, exactly. My energy levels seem higher (this past week notwithstanding). My mood? Perhaps better, but not markedly so.

The new 2HT design is coming along. Not on the schedule I was hoping for, but then that’s what happens when your designer has sick kiddos. Fucking priorities…ugh. The development site is up and running. I’m thinking it should only be a couple of weeks, but can’t be sure. In the meantime, the runner-up from the Funniest Sex Story contest is getting a sneak-peek at the new design with a specially-made item from the 2HT store.

Speaking of which, there’s a new shirt for the dudes. I already had a girl’s shirt made up. Now the guys are free to tell it like it is, too.

Seriously, It’s Not Me. It’s You. MEN SHIRT by karlerikson

Naturally, you can customize the color and style of shirt.

Lastly, I decided to end my relationship with my ad network. I love BlogHer, don’t get me wrong. I just got tired of being suspended for the occasionally offensive post, or for running a giveaway. If I was pulling in hundreds of dollars in revenue, that’d be one thing, but I’m not. I barely cover my monthly hosting costs. Just not worth it any more.

So that’s what’s going on with me at the moment. How about you?

a

Tonight on SecondHand Radio, my guest is the lovely and nude Naked Jen! I met Jen at BlogHer ‘09 in Chicago. Actually, the first time I saw her, she was, well, naked. Paraded herself in all her glory down the escalator, through the hotel lobby, and got cheered the whole way.

I thought, “I really need to meet this woman.” She’s totally taken my Dancing in My Boxers idea to the ultimate level. While I’ve been naked on my blog, I don’t know that I have the guts Jen has.

She’s also a vegetarian, into the homeopathic scene, and loves dogs. We’re gonna have a great time chatting and I hope you can join us.

Showtime: 10:00 PM EST, 9PM Central, 8PM Mountain, 7PM Pacific. Chatroom opens 15 minutes before showtime.

Call-In Number: 724-444-7444, Call ID 23738

Show Link: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/23738

List of future guests can be found here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED: To avoid browser problems (which some people tend to have with Talkshoe), you should do the following:

1. REGISTER AT TALKSHOE BEFORE THE SHOW.

2. DOWNLOAD THE TALKSHOE CLIENT.

3. If you have trouble logging in, feel free to call in and I’ll leave you on mute. You can listen to the show live that way.

The Talkshoe Live client works great and (for my money, though it’s free) offers a better chatroom experience.

Look forward to seeing you all there tonight. You’re all welcome to call in and chat.

a

It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that I have my issues with BlogHer. There is such promise for an organization to empower and support women of all types, but unless you are a mother, you may find very little in the way of encouragement, advertising, or opportunities.

One place where BlogHer purports to listen to the community that supports them is with a series of "community"-driven sessions during the BlogHer Conference called the Rooms Of Your Own (ROYO). Anyone who is a BlogHer member can submit a session idea, and the community can vote on the rooms that they want to see or present. Unfortunately, it's not as simple as "the sessions with the most interest get chosen". BlogHer states that when they choose which ROYO sessions are picked for this year's conference, "there were two primary criteria: (1) Community interest and (2) ensuring that the panel would bring diversity to the program schedule." This allows BlogHer to subjectively ignore the sessions that get the most interest in order to ensure that there is diversity (no definition provided) to the program schedule. Why is this a bad thing? Because the conference already has a set, official agenda, and these ROYO sessions are designed to be chosen by the community, hence the name "Room of YOUR Own". Not "Room of your own unless we think that it doesn't fit in with our agenda".

I heard from several sources that TPTB at BlogHer were seriously contemplating limiting or eliminating male involvement at this year's conference, and the email that I received today supported that. I was informed that the ROYO I submitted, about the male personal blogger and how they are a part of a female blogger's audience, was not being chosen this year.

According to a spreadsheet I made the day before voting ended, comparing all ROYOs submitted, my session was in the top 6 among all sessions, and was #2 in the category I chose, "Passions". Out of over 100 sessions, that puts it in the top 6%, which demonstrates strong "Community Interest" to me, especially if you consider the overwhelming positive response from last year's attendees and the fact that we had over 150 people in our room, standing in the hallway trying to get in. The ROYO I submitted was the only one about male bloggers as readers, which certainly brings "diversity to the program schedule". The only possible option left is that BlogHer made an arbitrary and capricious decision not to include my session. And that's what disappoints me.

For those of you who will blindly object and say "It's called BlogHER, not BlogHim", I say that your argument is specious. Male personal bloggers make up a tiny percentage of the personal blogging community, and many of us read primarily women bloggers. We comment on their posts, we make friends with them, and the only avenue we have to socialize with all of these bloggers on a large scale is through a community such as BlogHer. And in my opinion, our value to the female blogger as an audience is just as important as female athlete bloggers or Canadian bloggers, just to mention a few niche audiences. It's not our gender that matters, but how we affect and impact the female blogger.

If BlogHer truly wants to eliminate male involvement (however misguided that is), they need to do it in a transparent way. They could either just do away with the ROYO system completely and enact their entire official agenda rather than forcing community involvement to fit within said agenda, or they could try the following for next year:

1. Do not allow men to register for BlogHer's site.
2. Only registered members can submit sessions for the ROYO.
3. Create a clear policy that says that any session that couldn't be presented without a male presenter will be removed.

This will allow you to limit the diversity to an arena where BlogHer feels comfortable and permit them to actually listen to the community interest instead of only pretending to do so.

In the end, I think it's unfortunate that BlogHer does the same thing to male personal bloggers that the world has done to women in the past. Women finally have a voice and they have power, thanks in no small part to BlogHer, but if BlogHer ignores what these women are saying, they are doing everyone a disservice.

Tonight at 10pm Eastern, it’s SecondHand Radio with my guest Father Muskrat, who you can find on Twitter here. I met the man at BlogHer ‘09 and enjoyed his company a lot. Course, that was before I learned he has a giant tallywhacker. Now I feel slightly threatened. Nevertheless, the show must go on.

Sadly, I just learned BlogHer is sold out, so it’s pretty much a given me and my offensive t-shirts won’t be there this year. Damn unemployment.

Showtime: 10:00 PM EST, 9PM Central, 8PM Mountain, 7PM Pacific. Chatroom opens 15 minutes before showtime.

Call-In Number: 724-444-7444, Call ID 23738

Show Link: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/23738

List of future guests can be found here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED: To avoid browser problems (which some people tend to have with Talkshoe), you should do the following:

1. REGISTER AT TALKSHOE BEFORE THE SHOW.

2. DOWNLOAD THE TALKSHOE CLIENT.

3. If you have trouble logging in, feel free to call in and I’ll leave you on mute. You can listen to the show live that way.

The Talkshoe Live client works great and (for my money, though it’s free) offers a better chatroom experience.

Look forward to seeing you all there tonight. You’re all welcome to call in and chat.

CONTEST

Eden Fantasys is providing me with a prize to give away to you, my lovely, dirty readers. It’s a $25 gift certificate to their shop, and believe me when I tell you, there are lots of things for girls and guys alike in that store. I may own some things myself. What? A boy likes a hot pink vibrator. Don’t judge.

You could even use that $25 toward their Kissa glass vibrator. It’s waterproof and everything.

RULES

1. Email me your funniest sex stories. I want the stuff that makes me spit beer through my nose. Confusing super glue for lube is tragic, by the way, not especially funny. Email your stories to karl at secondhandkarl dot com. Be sure to put Crazy Sex Story in the SUBJECT.

2. Deadline is MIDNIGHT on Wednesday, March 24. That’s just before we officially hit Thursday. Don’t be late.

3. One entry per person, please.

4. I will not be judging the contest. Instead, I have chosen three remarkable individuals to read the stories and come up with a winner and a runner-up. The judges are: Michel (LeSombre), Shannon (Bubblewench), and Janet (IzzyMom). They won’t see the names or emails of the people sending the stories, just the stories themselves.

5. Funniest story receives the $25 gift certificate to Eden Fantasys. Runner-up will receive a special prize from the SecondHand TryptoGear store. It might even contain a peek at the new 2HT design, coming to a browser near you very soon.

So…get to writing. Make us laugh with your dirty, dirty self.

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