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Two days left.

Two days for me to get my fill of Twitter and Facebook and blogs.

Two days to wonder how good the cell signal is there.

Two days to wonder if I’ll be able to blog. I’m definitely bringing my journal and notebooks to write in. It’ll be blogging from my phone, if at all, since I’m told there’s no wifi and no Internet.

Two days to get my laundry done and choose 5 sets of clothing that’ll last me a month. Two days to figure out what shirts I’ll take with me.

Two days to squeeze in phone calls.

Two days to figure out what books I want to bring with me. Hell, two days to drop off my library book because I can’t renew it beyond my stay in the inpatient program.

Two days to fill my iPod with music to last me a month.

Two days to enjoy my own bed. Do I bring my own pillow?

Two days to stay up as late as I want. And attempt to sleep in as late as I want (9:30 AM is usually as far as I can get).

Two days of having my schedule be whatever the fuck I want it to be. Eat when I want, test my blood sugar when I want, give myself insulin when I want. Something tells me my schedule will be dictated much differently…in two days.

Two days to wonder if I get a roommate while I’m there. I’m assuming I will, because I can’t believe I’ll be lucky enough not to.

Two days to clear off as many shows from my DVR as possible.

Two days to be thankful that “Lost” finished before this wild psychological experiment. Maybe this is my “sideways timeline.”

Two days until I have to watch what everyone else is watching (Lord, let it not be “Jersey Shore”).

Two days to gather toiletries.

Two days to get a haircut that’ll last me through a month. Considering a crew cut. It’s only gonna get hotter in Florida for the next several months. And a crew cut seems appropriate for scenes that may match “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

Two days to let the anxiety build and fester.

Two days to keep telling myself this is voluntary and I can leave whenever I want. Two days to keep telling myself this may be the only shot I get at an inpatient program, so leaving prematurely would be asinine.

Two days to wonder why asinine only contains one “s.”

Two days to freak the fuck out.

--- Thanks for reading! SecondHand Tryptophan

I’ve been through a metric shitton of therapy, both individual and group, to varying degrees of success. Spent two years in an intensive outpatient program (IOP), in fact. Grief recovery and suicide prevention was the main focus. Most everyone in that group – and I saw people come and go over time as I became the senior member – probably suffered some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (amongst other maladies).

I recall my very first day of IOP. I’d had a nervous breakdown and couldn’t work. Showed up at the encouragement of my individual therapist.

There might have been 6 or 7 others there that first day. I had no idea what to expect. The first (of four) hours of each day was check-in time. Everyone in group spent 5 minutes “checking in,” telling the therapists what was going on. Because it was my first day, I got to check in last. Which seemed to be a mistake.

As each stranger reported in on their life, I heard stories that made me question what the fuck *I* was doing there.

Jesus, I don’t have any fucking problems compared to these people. What’s my deal?

Horror stories, some of them. If I weren’t so polite, I might have just sat there with my jaw hanging open, listening to it all.

Turns out, as I’d learn over time, there were more than a handful of distortions I was clinging to. Everyone’s problems are different, everyone’s life is different. Trying to compare your struggles to mine isn’t a fair comparison most of the time. Apples and oranges, etc. Or, as I tended to say, one person’s savior is another person’s pair of lead boots.

We had these sheets we’d fill out called Trauma Sheets, where we’d discuss traumatic events in our life and “process” these things with the group. The first time I told a story from my past, I was stunned. Mostly because my group members were stunned and more than one of them were left with their jaws hanging open.

“What?” I said. “That’s not normal?”

Come to find out lots of things from my childhood weren’t “normal.”

You can’t spend five days a week, four hours a day, with a small group of people and not make friends. Some of us hung out outside group, spending even more time together. Naturally, there were rules in IOP. We weren’t allowed to engage in any sexual activity with each other. Group members weren’t allowed to loan or borrow money. (The group represented most cross-sections of society…some of us were poor and relying on food banks, others were pretty damn well off.) These rules were meant to keep the group a safe place. There was already enough conflict and stuff to deal with – didn’t need to create more drama between us (though there was some of that, too, because not everyone followed the rules all the time).

Lots of group therapy stories, but I ramble enough already. Oddly, I left group and quickly lost track of most all those folks. Haven’t been in a group therapy situation since.

So when the Matrix Therapist suggested yesterday the notion of group therapy, I said that I didn’t have a problem with it. EXCEPT that the groups she was suggesting were at the main VA facility in Tampa. Being in Sebring, there’s only a small clinic here…most anything specialized requires a visit to the main hospital, about 2 hours away from me.

“Depending on how often these groups meet,” I said, “that could be a lot of traveling.” I mean, two hours there, one or two hours of group (I’m assuming), then two hours back home? That’s a full fucking day. And even once a week, that’d add up pretty fast to lots of gas money.

Which is what led the Matrix Therapist bring up something I’ve never experienced: INpatient treatment. Meaning: you stay in facility instead of staying at home.

Whoa.

But let’s face facts: whatever I’m doing now ain’t working. I’m stuck. Again. Stagnant, even, and I find that to be the equivalent of a 4-letter word. The meds aren’t doing their thing (so far). Being in-house would let them aggressively play with meds while I’m under their watch. Plus, there’d (presumably) be a lot of structure with the group situation.

What terrifies me about this (much as I can see the potential good in it) is that I’d be totally outside my comfort zone. The likelihood of there being unrestricted Internet access is slim to none. And most all of my friends are living inside my computer. Yikes. Sure, they’ll probably let me keep my iPhone, but I’ve been to that hospital and the signal inside (as is true for many hospitals) sucks ass.

I’d be not only hanging with strangers – and sharing lots of stories/events with them – but living with them, as well.

*ring ring*

Hello?

Hi, Karl, it’s me, Social Phobia.

I don’t know how long this inpatient thing typically lasts, but the MT said yesterday it could be as little as 3 or 4 days.

“No way,” I told her. “That’s not enough time to do shit with medication.” Hell, we’ve been playing this round of the Pharmaceutical Game for many months now. I’m no stranger to being a lab rat. Meds that mess with the brain take weeks/months to gain efficacy.

My educated guess for how long I’d stay is something along the lines of at least 2-3 weeks, if not more. Which, in Karl Time, is like 2-3 months of not sleeping in my own bed, not being able to get online any time I want to, not being able to stay up till 1 in the morning, not being able to walk around in my boxers all the time. The list goes on.

That’s a long time to be outside my comfort zone.

Nevertheless, I told the MT that I’m not averse to the options. So this morning I went back in and, after getting blood drawn for my diabetes, met with the Matrix Therapist again to fill out a qualifying questionnaire.

I should hear either today or maybe Monday from the VA about if I qualify and, subsequently, where I fall on the waiting list. Then I can ask questions like:

• How long is the average stay?
• What am I allowed to bring with me from home?
• What is the structure of the program? How many hours of the day are scheduled, and how much free time do we get?
• Is there wifi?
• What’s the bed time?
• Do I have to be roomies with anyone possessing that old-man smell? (What? This is the VA we’re talking about. I’m a young whippersnapper compared to most of these people.)
• How do we deal with things like my insulin and syringes?
• Is there live-tweeting allowed from group?

I don’t have answers to any of these yet, but hope to soon. If anything, as Sybil was keen to point out last night on the phone, I should get some decent blog posts out of it.

So there’s that.

--- Thanks for reading! SecondHand Tryptophan

It’s Memorial Day weekend, a time many of us are thankful for a 3-day weekend. Parades, barbeques, friends and family…reunions, even.

Even though I don’t have any holiday plans, I hope each of you has a great weekend. And I hope you remember what this day of remembrance is supposed to be about: the people that have died in service of their country. People that made it possible for you and me to enjoy the day-to-day of our lives. I will admit I’m not thankful often enough, mostly because lately it seems I’m enjoying more drudgery and depression than living. But I am appreciative of all those fallen soldiers.

One of my pet peeves is bumper stickers on cars. Growing up, they were cool, and I loved putting a new sticker on our car to proudly show our allegiance to Disney World after a visit, or even South of the Border. As an adult, I find bumper stickers tacky as shit, even if there is the occasional one that makes me chuckle.

When I see one of those seemingly ubiquitous yellow ribbon stickers that say “Support Our Troops,” it kinda skeeves me out. Mostly because I imagine that, if there’s a need for a sticker to state your support, there’s an *opposite* sticker on some oaf’s car: “Do NOT Support Our Troops!” It’s akin to needing stickers that say “Support Breathing and Blinking!” Who DOESN’T support breathing? And what kind of person doesn’t support our servicemen and servicewomen?

It’s just sad (and unnecessary) to me that we need stickers/ribbons to remind people to support the troops. No matter what your stance – whether you believe we should be militarily involved in Afghanistan or Iraq (or wherever) – you should still support our active-duty men and women.

My father and stepfather both served our country for a time. So did my grandfather and step-grandfather. My brother and I, too. In fact, my bro and I served during the first Gulf War. I never saw combat (thank God), but lived in England and worked a lot of long shifts to support the men and women that were in Iraq at the time.

I’ve had people thank me over the years for serving our country. I’ve learned to graciously say “Thank you,” but the truth is that I joined the military for purely selfish reasons. I was 19 when I signed up, had a wife (and twins on the way), and knew I could get my education on Uncle Sam’s dime.

As it turns out, I couldn’t afford the $100 monthly payment into the G.I. Bill (did I mention the twins?) so that education fund never materialized for me. I was an Airman First Class, barely pulling in $800 a month to support my family. And much as some people may think the military gets a free ride – so many have proclaimed jealousy over free groceries (which is not a privilege military members enjoy) – I can assure you the free ride doesn’t exist. For the first few years my girls were alive, my (then) wife and I were eligible for food stamps and WIC…a sad state of affairs for anyone, let alone someone serving their country. I recall one week my ex-wife and I had only $30 to our name to last us a week. $25 of that went to a case of baby formula, and the other $5 went to the meals for my ex and I: nothing but peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches for the next week. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Believe me, I would have LOVED free food back then.

My military service was a blessing and a curse for me. Some of my happiest and unhappiest moments came during my Air Force days. My military time saw both the beginning (happy) days of my marriage, and the end (depression and desperation) of it, too. I enjoyed the traveling, lived in Mississippi, England, and Texas during my stint. At the end, while stationed in San Antonio, I left on my own terms.

I’m proud of my service now, glad I did it. I think most people could benefit from some time in the military.

I’m thankful for the men and women that died for my country, whether it be during the Revolutionary War, World War I, Vietnam, or yesterday.

And I don’t need a fucking sticker on my car to say I’m proud of the troops.

--- Thanks for reading! SecondHand Tryptophan

Last week’s show didn’t happen, thanks to some technical glitches on Talkshoe. We’re back again tonight with another episode of SecondHand Radio.

My guest is none other than Mr. Marty Mankins, author of Banal Leakage and Twitterer extraordinaire. I’ve had the pleasure of hanging with Marty (and Mrs. Marty) more than once…TequilaCon, Avitaween…good times. Marty is witty, smart, and loves his Snowy Sundays (Utah gets that white stuff) and Scooter Sundays.

You should call in and ask Marty your computer questions – he LOVES answering that shit. OK, I’m kidding. If you do that, he’ll likely punch you in the junk. I’m sure he’d love to talk to you about most anything else, though.

Show Details

Showtime: 10:00 PM EST, 9PM Central, 8PM Mountain, 7PM Pacific. Chatroom opens 15 minutes before showtime.

Call-In Number: 724-444-7444, Call ID 23738

Show Link: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/23738

List of future guests can be found here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED: To avoid browser problems (which some people tend to have with Talkshoe), you should do the following:

1. REGISTER AT TALKSHOE BEFORE THE SHOW.

2. DOWNLOAD THE TALKSHOE CLIENT.

3. If you have trouble logging in, feel free to call in and I’ll leave you on mute. You can listen to the show live that way.

The Talkshoe Live client works great and (for my money, though it’s free) offers a better chatroom experience. You just need to select it vs. the web interface when you’re about to launch the show.

Look forward to seeing you all there tonight. You’re all welcome to call in and chat.

--- Thanks for reading! SecondHand Tryptophan

So Thursday was another day for therapy, and the Matrix Therapist wants me to get out of the freaking house more often. And she wants me to make a list of things to do to GET me out of the house. Does she even KNOW me?

Matrix Therapist: What are the benefits of staying in the house all the time?

Me: Well, all my stuff is there.

MT: So you feel safe there.

Me: Yes, though it’s a weird kind of safe that still makes me feel miserable.

MT: So what are the benefits of you leaving the house?

Me: (shiver) I hear sunshine is good for you.

MT: Mmm, what else?

Me: Might distract me from my shitty life.

MT: Right.

Me: May introduce me to new people, though that prospect is kinda  scary, too.

MT: But there’s no pressure.

Me: That’s the whole thing about leaving the house. It’s ALL pressure. I’ll have to socialize.

MT: Yeah, because what you’re doing now is working so well. Listen, you have the depression down. We know that. You don’t need more practice at that.

Me: Finally, I’m good at something!

MT: Maybe you could take a walk around the lake. I did recently.

Me: A walk? Outside? How far is that?

MT: It’s about 9 miles.

Me: 9 MILES? Yeah, that’s gonna happen.

MT: Doesn’t have to be around the lake. You come up with some things that’ll get you out of the house. Make a list.

Me: I’m not great at lists. I’m great at depression, remember?

MT: That’s what we’re trying to fix, remember?

Me: Right. List.

MT: 10 things to get you out of the house.

Me: Number 1…therapy.

MT: Therapy doesn’t count.

Me: That’s not something a patient wants to hear.

Ten things have to go on this list. TEN. And, lest you forget, they must all involve me leaving the house.

1. Make a list of 10 things to get me out of the house.
2. Go to the movies.
3. Go to the bookstore.
4. Go to the gym.
5. Go do karaoke.
6. Go to a coffeeshop.
7. Go to the library.
8. Walk through the park (exercise).
9. Walk through the mall (more exercise).
10. Go to the lawnmower races.
11. Take an art class.
12. Go to church.

Wow, look at that. 12 things…well, minus the first item, of course. 11 things. Not all very exciting things. I mean, bookstore and library? I know, a thrill a minute with me.

Hey, I almost put down “smoking,” since I technically do that outside the house. But I figured the Matrix Therapist would just give me shit over that one, so…

Why does looking at this list strike my heart with fear?

--- Thanks for reading! SecondHand Tryptophan

My guest tonight on SecondHand Radio is my bud, Mic Duggan, stand-up comic and graphic artist. I’ve known Mic for over 25 years now…yikes! Mic lives in Los Angeles and is a regular at comedy clubs all over the area. He also created the brand new header graphic for SecondHand Tryptophan’s upcoming redesign (coming soon, I swear).

Looking forward to lots of laughs tonight. If you want to find Mic on Twitter, he’s @MicDuggan.

Oh, and there’s Mic and I (and another high school bud, Chris) in L.A. a couple of years ago.

Showtime: 10:00 PM EST, 9PM Central, 8PM Mountain, 7PM Pacific. Chatroom opens 15 minutes before showtime.

Call-In Number: 724-444-7444, Call ID 23738

Show Link: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/23738

List of future guests can be found here.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED: To avoid browser problems (which some people tend to have with Talkshoe), you should do the following:

1. REGISTER AT TALKSHOE BEFORE THE SHOW.

2. DOWNLOAD THE TALKSHOE CLIENT.

3. If you have trouble logging in, feel free to call in and I’ll leave you on mute. You can listen to the show live that way.

The Talkshoe Live client works great and (for my money, though it’s free) offers a better chatroom experience. You just need to select it vs. the web interface when you’re about to launch the show.

Look forward to seeing you all there tonight. You’re all welcome to call in and chat.

--- Thanks for reading! SecondHand Tryptophan

Enjoyed last night’s episode of 2HRadio with Cissa, where we talked about all sorts of things, including last weekend’s SillyBring. She and Shannon both wrote about the weekend on their blogs.

We had six of us for Sillybring: CheekySweetie, Shannon, Cissa, Whostolemyzen, NoelleD, and of course myself. Even though I brought my camera, I didn’t get any shots (aside from when Shannon and I went to Gatorama).

So let’s go with a couple of good photo sets from Cissa and Shannon, because they had the presence of mind to take lots of pics.

Here’s Shannon’s photos on Flickr.

And Cissa’s.

And my photos from Gatorama, which include the grinning Pepe LePew, who is getting laid. Lucky fucking skunk. If I want to get laid, I have to recruit crack whores…and even they are a tad picky.

Because I’m lazy and undergoing a series of anxiety attacks the last couple of days, I’m going to bulletize SillyBring.

• Shannon’s first night in Sebring nearly brought a live possum to her chair on my front porch. It was a big fucker, too. I shooed it away like it was a dog, half chasing it across my yard so that Shannon wouldn’t freak. Fortunately, despite having a run of bad luck lately, this particular possum was not, in fact, rabid, and did not leap for my throat and bite through my jugular. I assured Shannon I’d never seen a possum before, let alone had one walk up my sidewalk straight up to me…I don’t know that she believed me.
• Gatorama once again proved to kick ass. It was the one time I had my camera with me throughout the weekend. I was too busy enjoying everyone else’s company beyond that. We both got to hold a baby gator and croc, see TONS of gators in the lake (all of whom seem to be Jewish, since they swam for bagels like they were heroine), and the fucking skunks (literally). Also hung around long enough to see the gators being fed, which was something else. All in all, a fun afternoon with a VERY Floridian activity. Gator jerky available in the gift shop, please come again.
• CheekySweetie arrived a day before SillyBring to hang with Shannon and I before the other ladies got to town. Love, love, love her and enjoyed having two of my fave women together in one location again. Her laugh always gets me to smiling and laughing myself…much needed.
• Met up with Cissa, WhostolemyZen, and NoelleD at the Blue Lagoon for lunch (corn nuggets!) on Saturday. Fun and hilarity ensued (for pretty much the next 24 hours). WhostolemyZen and NoelleD and the others soon realized that corn nuggets are much like crack. Cissa was not overly impressed. Witches, whaddya gonna do?
• The next few hours were filled with shopping at Ross Dress For Less, Michaels, and some other clothing store. Shannon has been losing quite a bit of weight, and wanted some girl power to help her find clothes. The mumu looked great, but she went with different looks for some reason.
• There was much Foursquaring going on all weekend, of course. Vying for Mayorships in new venues was exhausting, but I wound up Mayor of a couple more places, even if it meant ousting some friends in the process. That’s right, bitches, I’m now a Super Mayor!
• We all spent quite a bit of time in our hotel room…2 bedroom suite, 2 bathrooms. It was perfect for the 6 of us to gather and hang. We also spent some time in the pool and hot tub. Mmm.
• Dinner at Don Jose’s Mexican that night. My Mom joined us all. It was Angel’s first time at a Mexican restaurant!
• The Why Not Lounge was perfection that night. Ladies drink free from 10-midnight (y’know, thinking of my ladies) and the people-watching was out of this world. People straight out of “Deliverance” were at the next table. I was just waiting for the banjo music to start. There were lots of big eyes (as SillyBringers stared openly at family members grinding on each other during songs, incredibly drunk folks who couldn’t talk or sing but tried anyway, and an amorous couple getting it on in the ladies’ bathroom) and laughs. Oh, and branding…can’t forget the branding. Shannon and Cissa and I sang karaoke, while Angel, WhostolemyZen, and NoelleD said “There’s not enough booze on Earth to get us up there.”
• Next morning, the girls came back to Shannon’s, Angel’s, and my hotel room and hung out some more, doing girly things like hairwraps for Shannon and Angel. I figured I’d forego the hairwrap, since my hair is maybe half an inch long.
• We went to Bob Evans for brunch (yay for blueberry crepes), lots more laughter, and ultimately our goodbyes. We took a few more photos outside, hugged and kissed each other farewell, then Cissa and WhostolemyZen and Noelle D took off for home.
• Shannon and Angel and I hung out at my house for a little while before Angel went back home. Then Shannon and I, though sad to see everybody leave, kinda vegged out and napped. I may have uttered the words, “I’m too old for this partying shit” once or twice.

And that was pretty much SillyBring. Shannon stayed another day, we enjoyed some mindless TV after our naps on Sunday. She made a delicious steak dinner for my Mom and I. Think we played some more “Price is Right” on the Wii before hitting the sack, exhausted. Next morning, more mindless TV (including RuPaul’s Drag Show). Enjoyed Shannon’s company immensely.

Then it was time to drive Shannon back to Orlando International to fly home. We listened to the Kick-Ass soundtrack on the way, having both LOVED the movie. Dropped her off at the Southwest check-in, hugs and kisses, and that was that. I drove home, sad to see Shannon go. Sad to see the extended weekend come to a close. Sad to be back in Sebring all by my lonesome.

And not to be a bummer, but my depression has really been taking a nasty turn for the worst, ramping up throughout the week ever since Shannon left. Nothing seems to be clicking for me…no matter what I try, I’m not feeling it. Reading, TV, music, being online, even rubbing one out – fucking anhedonia can suck my left one.

My naps aren’t all that great because (I think) of the Abilify. Which sucks, because naps are one of my escapes from reality. I feel paralyzed and overwhelmed, too. So much to do, some of it complicated, all of which led to anxiety attacks yesterday, where I had to constantly remind myself to breathe.

You’ve got to be a special kind of stupid to forget to breathe, yeah? I thought so, too.

a

So yesterday, I went to see Hot Tub Time Machine with a bud. I have a weakness for time travel stories. If I had to pick a favorite time travel movie, it’d be Back to the Future, naturally…love that shit. But I also have a fondness for Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Time Cop, and the Butterfly Effect.

Hot Tub? Was so-so. It brought some laughs, many of them were gross-out laughs involving bodily fluids, but whatever. Not Hangover funny, but not a total loss. It’s just that, well, when you have a movie called Hot Tub Time Machine, can you be all that shocked at what kind of a movie it is? It’s a hot tub with a built-in time machine; there’s really not a lot of plot going on.

I’m an 80’s kid…graduated in 1984, so this was prime pickings for me. I LIVED in the time of jeri-curls and Miami Vice. Hell, I wore a linen jacket myself with pastel-colored t-shirts.

Bottom line: worth a rental, perhaps a matinee. Definitely NOT worth full night-time prices at the movies.

The premise that always interests me with time-travel tales is changing the future. If I went back in time, and I had my 2010 brain in my teenage body, what would I do? First off, I’d be getting laid like there was no tomorrow. I know stuff now that I didn’t know then. How to kiss a girl, for instance. Better yet, I know where the G-spot is. I’d be the most popular guy in school! My street cred would zoom through the roof!

Things I’d Do If I Went Back in Time

1. I’d totally make it with Janeen Heaney in 9th grade. James Bonner may have gotten the girl back then, but he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. I’d say screw the anonymous love letters I left in Janeen’s locker for two years. I’d go right to her face, bring her flowers, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, and make her cum so hard her toes would curl…maybe even pop off. She’d tell her girlfriends and pretty soon every girl in school would want to fuck me. Karl 2.0, yeah, baby.
2. Buy stock in Apple. In the 80’s. I had an Apple IIc back then. Perhaps now I’d easily afford a new MacBook.
3. Punch Kevin Ferrick in the mouth. 8th grade. Schoolmate and next-door neighbor. Him and the *other* Kevin (Downs) were merciless. I wouldn’t save their asses if I had another shot.
4. I’d preinvent the fucking Snuggie. I hate them, but I’m not an idiot. If morons are willing to buy tons of backwards robes, I’ll be happy to sell them.
5. I’d stop Michael Hutchence from killing himself. Love INXS and miss him a lot. The new singer, J.D. Fortune, just ain’t doing it for me.
6. I’d actually get fashionable haircuts. And clothes.
7. I would start going to therapy right after my folks got divorced. Who KNOWS where I’d be now if I had been enlightened decades ago?
8. I’d totally ace school, be friends with the geeks, the jocks, and the outcasts alike. The teachers would all love me, so would the girls. And the guys would all want to be me.
9. I’d steal all of our stuff out of storage when we moved from New York to New Mexico. Lost virtually everything we had when I was 15…heirlooms, photos, games. All of it.
10. I’d totally sleep with my first girlfriend. I was inexperienced and a goody-goody. Fuck that.
11. Stop Coca Cola from making the dreadful New Coke in the 80’s. ‘Nuff said.
12. Prevent Poison from ever becoming a band. I know, the history books would thank me forever. Oddly, the stupid band is in the Hot Tub movie.

I’d still prefer the Delorean vs. the Hot Tub Time Machine, don’t get me wrong. But I’d make it work however I had to.

Now, a little meme, courtesy of Dave2.

1. Go to your first photo file and pick the 10th photo in it.
2. Tell the story behind the photo.
3. Tag 5 other people to do likewise.

My first photo file is random Karl photos from the past. And here’s #10:

That’s me, circa February, 1987. Air Force Basic Training, Lackland AFB, Texas. Silly photo booth shot that I took for  my (then) wife. Let me tell you, when you’re away from the woman you’re madly in love with for MONTHS, you LIVE for mail call every day.

I remember that my ex told me she didn’t recognize the guy in that photo until her mom pointed out that it was me. Then, she cried. “What have they done to him?”

What, indeed.

I don’t tag people, but feel free to try this yourself.

a

I’m TK-280, but friends call me Herb. The long trip from Hoth to this blue Earth globe was hellacious. And while I was in suspended animation to get here, Ted decided to be funny and put my lower armor on backwards. But I made it just the same. And after I etched “Rebel without a Clue” on Ted’s helmet, and took an hour to fix my armor, I managed to scale down the giant tower the hairless wampas call a “mailbox.”

What it is I’m expected to do here, I don’t know. But once I was inside the giant base of the hairless giant wampa known as Karl, I found some other clones hidden away. Turns out they’ve been waiting on me to organize our campaigns.

We found a stockpile of large lance weapons known as “syringes.” This Karl creature has no clue the level of wrath we shall rain down upon him.

That’s me on the right.

The guys and I shall commence taking over this central Florida region forthwith. Once we finish sampling this amazing Guinness beverage. *hic*

PS: I found a listing of other clones here on Earth. Together, we shall…ooh, what do you call this magical disc? Pizza. Niiiice.

a

I love music. I don’t know where I’d be without it, honestly. One thing the iPhone (iPod) does really well is music. I use Smart Playlists to sync songs all the time, love my iPod.

And there are some great music apps for the iPhone, too. Thought I’d share a handful of my favorites with you.

Moodagent – FREE

Moodagent is a really cool app I discovered not long ago, and best of all, it’s FREE. It profiles the music you have on your iPod and then lets you automagically create playlists based on your mood. Yes, your mood. You move five different sliders around. Based on the five sliders – Sensual, Tender, Joy, Aggressive, and Tempo – you figure out how you’re feeling, make the adjustments and then Moodagent does the rest.

The result is a playlist of 25 songs that all match your mood, like so.

You can also save and load playlists you’ve created with Moodagent. And if you’re not feeling the slider thing at the moment, you can click on the Search (magnifying glass) icon and hand-select any song on your iPod. Moodagent will then adjust the sliders accordingly for that song and create your playlist based on the song.

Very, very cool. Plus, it integrates with your iPod, so you can start a playlist, then exit Moodagent, and have your music still playing. (Unlike most music apps. At least, until Apple allows multitasking.)

Last.fm – FREE

Been using Last.fm for years now. It came before Pandora did. It’s a social music site. You sign up, create a profile, and it keeps track of your favorite music for you. That’s the basics. You can also use it like Pandora…enter an artist or song, and Last.fm will create a custom music station based on your selection.

Last.fm tracks all the songs you listen to. In fact, my favorite thing about Last.fm is what they call “scrobbling.” Thanks to a small download, every time I sync my iPhone through iTunes, Last.fm scrobbles all the songs I’ve played and uploads them to my account. It organizes everything…how often I’ve played each song, etc.

And my “neighbors” (friends) on Last.fm have access to my library, too. They can  listen to MY “station,” which is a great way to find great music. Another great way is to listen to your “recommended” music. Based on the music you’ve scrobbled so far, Last.fm finds recommended artists and puts them into a special station for you. Rocking service that I think everyone should be using.

Simplify Music 2 – $7.99

Simplify Music 2 is another great app. I got it for free a while back; now it’s $7.99, but it’s worth every penny.

Simply put, Simplify 2 lets you stream all the music in your iTunes to your iPod/iPhone. Now you don’t have to worry that you can’t fit all your music into that phone of yours…you have access to your entire music library. Provided you have iTunes up and running, of course. It forms a network connection between the Simplify app on your phone and the Simplify app on your computer.

Works fantastically.

Slacker Radio – FREE

Don’t get me wrong, I love Pandora, but rarely use it these days, thanks to Last.fm and Slacker Radio. Slacker is very similar to Pandora – you create custom music stations based on songs/artists you like. Again, it’s a great way to find new artists.

The difference, to  me, is that I think Slacker puts together a more organic sounding mix based on my selection. They put songs together that I’d never think to put together, but once I hear them together they click and make sense. Love, love, love.

Plus, I can select from musical genre stations. Sure, there’s your typical “80’s, 90’s, and Today” station, but I can choose from Reggae or Blues or any number of genres I want to hear. The only caveat is the occasional 15-second commercial (unless you buy the premium subscription, but it’s not required).

I can even listen to stand-up comedy. For instance, Steven Wright. Creates a comedy station just for me. Nice.

Great sound that streams via WiFi.

SoundHound – $4.99

How many times have you heard a song on the radio, or in someone’s car, and wondered who sings it? Look no further.

Load up SoundHound, tap the TAP HERE button, and let your phone listen to that song. SoundHound is remarkably accurate and should have your song for you in a matter of seconds. You can even hum or sing a song yourself and get results!

From there, you can Bookmark a song, Share it (Email, Twitter, Facebook), and even Buy it. It also looks up the lyrics for you, and corresponding Youtube videos.

GREAT app that will never leave my iPhone. I was lucky enough to get it for free way back when, but again…worth every penny.

Wunder Radio – $6.99

Listen to most any radio station around the world, people. Add in Weather radio, police and fire rescue scanners, accessibility for subscription satellite radio (Sirius/XM), and you have Wunder Radio. Damn cool app.

Find stations based on genre (talk, sports, pop music, new age, rap, etc.) or location (Great Britain, Australia, wherever). Listen to police scanners from your old neck of the woods (provided they’re in the list). Sometimes I tune in to some Dallas radio stations, just to hear the ads for my old hometown. Or British radio, same reason.

Streams great over 3G or WiFi.

There you have it…great apps to help you stay in touch with your favorite music, maybe even find some amazing NEW stuff to listen to.

You’re welcome. How about you? Have any fave music apps on your iPhone or iPod Touch?

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