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For the past week, my cousin* Leah has been in town from Hawaii by way of Rhode Island, and I've been going out more and staying up later than I probably should have been. After dropping her off at the airport at 5 PM yesterday, I'm taking today to recuperate (and come up with a decent interview with Dennis Hopper for tomorrow) because I have an absolute shitload of work that I need to do to get caught up. I thought an appropriate song to motivate me to work would be Ke$ha's "Tik Tok", but the lyrics needed a bit of updating:

Wake up in the morning feeling like Bea Arthur
Put my manties on, I'm in my chair – I'm gonna work real hard -ah
Before I start, brush my teeth with Colgate Anti-Plaque
'Cause when I start working, I ain't got time to slack

I'm talking -
receptionist on my phones, phones
working without any clothes, clothes
paying the people I owe, owe

Brainstorming
writing lots of emails
working on all the details
trying to get at least a few sales

CHORUS:
Can't stop, drinkin' pop
Monday blows my inbox up
Tonight, Imma write
Til I lose my eyesight
Tick Tock, on the clock
But the work day don't stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

[CHORUS]

Ain't gotta wear pants, but got plenty of clothes
Could be working in an office, but it's the life I chose
Now, employees come to my house cause I pay decent wages
But they gotta put up with my nudity in stages

I'm talkin' about -
Everybody workin' hard, hard
Chargin' lunch to my business card, card
Shushin' Jigsaw if she gets too loud, loud

Now, now
Workin' 'til the break of dawn, dawn
Unless there's good TV on, on
There's good TV on, on
Good TV onnnn

[CHORUS] X2

I work enough
I'm too tough
On myself, I know,
Yeah, you got me

When my work's done,
I'll take a break.
And clean my house
Yeah, take a break.

I work enough
I'm too tough
On myself, I know,
Yeah, you got me

When my work's done
It's almost done
Gotta get it done

No, the work don't stop until I'm dead.

[CHORUS] X2

---

*Leah isn't technically my cousin. Her mother and my mother have been best friends for 40 years, and Leah's mother is my godmother. So we call each other "cousin".

I love to work with music blasting. And while sometimes that means classical, it usually means dancy, upbeat, poppy stuff that has bass. The problem is, I feel like I've been repeating the same songs over and over and it's time to inject some fresh blood into my music IV.

I like female musicians almost exclusively, and I have the musical taste of your average 11 or 12-year old girl. Here are some of the groups I listen to on repeat right now:

Ke$ha
The Millionaires
Robyn
Pink
Lady Gaga
Britney Spears
Little Boots
Avril Lavigne
No Doubt
Lords of Acid
Peaches
Ladytron
Gorillaz
Air
Taylor Swift

I already posted this on Twitter but thought I'd carry it over to my blog too. Do you have any suggestions to add to my excellent, high quality list of musical talent? Links to Youtube videos or audio tracks of said music get extra credit.

And in case you missed it a while ago, here I am dancing to some Lords of Acid:

I want to see your pussy from Adam Avitable on Vimeo.

Without the genius addition of a $, Ke$ha would just be "Kesha", a trashy blonde girl with very little actual musical talent. Instead, Ke$ha is a music sensation! That simple substitution of a punctuation symbol for a letter has been used in the geek world for a long time. It's known as "leet speak". And, once again, something geeky is being used to make the world more awesome.

I think that we should take really shitty things and make them more palatable with leet speak. It could revolutionize the world, just like the iPhone. Take a kid who hates spinach, for example. Do you think maybe he'd eat "$P!NACH"? Totally – the exclamation point and dollar sign substitution will fool him into thinking he's eating something AWESOME. Here are some other things that we could bling up with some punctuation:

• Having trouble making ends meet? Don't worry if you have to declare B4NKRUP7CY – it's super fun!.
• Male and over the age of 30? Don't forget to go in for your annual awesome PR0$TAT3 3XAM.
• It's okay that you got an F. It is cool to be a PHA!LUR3!
• Did last night's one-night stand leave you burning and itching? Be proud of your H3RP3$.
• No biggie about your car accident – revel in the fact that your leg had to be A/\/\PUT4T3D!
• Did last night's one-night stand leave you a little pregnant? Just go have an awesome 4B0RT!0N.
• Been hanging out in dirty hot tubs? It's okay – it's only a Y3A$T INPH3C7!0N.
• Is your TV remote broken? Don't be upset that it's stuck on the DI$N3Y CH4NN3L.
• Did you wake up with a fat hairy guy slapping you in the face with his penis? It's only 4V17ABL3!